this time last week, i was in surgery. or maybe i was in recovery by now? I’m not sure…it’s all kind of blurry.
i stayed up way too late the night before the surgery, getting some things done that i knew wouldn’t be a possibility for a while afterwards. i did laundry, cleaned house a little, took out the trash, shampooed my hair, and packed a bag of loose, comfy clothing. i tried not to let the nerves get to me, but the later it got, the more emotional i got (especially after a sweet phone call from Rimmy). midnight began the NPO and of course, i woke up about 3, dying of thirst, but i resisted.
the morning of the surgery, i slept as long as i possibly could. I figured there wasn’t going to be any primping other than brushing my teeth and hair, and the less time i was awake, the less time i had to dwell on not being able to eat or drink and oh yeah I’M HAVING SURGERY.
I met Mommy Dearest and Maya (my niece is visiting) at Mimi’s house at the buttcrack (ok, 7:15). I took my bag inside, gave Mimi & Maya a hug and climbed into the midget hearse (mom’s white PT cruiser). I had to reallllly fight the nerves, and i have to say, i did REALLY well because DAMN I wanted to cry!
When we got to the surgery center, my palms were sweaty, my voice a bit shaky, and the urge to guzzle the entire pot of coffee in the waiting room was more than intense. I paid my copay (i could have had a new couch for that!), signed my life away and got my bracelet. Dad called while we were in the waiting room and i REALLY had to fight back the waterworks. Yes, people, i cry… A LOT. i cry when i’m happy, mad, nervous, sad…it’s irritating.
once they called me back, i got to change into a lovely gown that didn’t quite cover everything (can we say SEXY?). after the nearly impossible task of finding a cotton, wireless bra to fit my very large personal flotation devices the day before, i was told i wouldn’t be allowed to wear it in surgery (they told me i would need to wear one the day before…argh). anyway, i donned the gown, boobs flapping in the wind, and laughed when they did a pregnancy test. SURPRISE! I’m not pregnant!!
turns out my less time, less worry plans were a great idea, but they remained an idea. why? oh because they thought they had lost my blood work. in fact, they thought they had lost MY BLOOD that had been drawn the prior monday. they finally figured out the problem (no vampires, we think) and decided i was good to go. they actually took my advice and put my IV in my right hand (still hurts) and the anesthesiologist gave me a little cocktail to ease my nerves. he later told me “girl, you are FUNNY. I like you!” Lord only knows what all i said to him…i don’t think i wanna know
the details after the IV cocktail are a little fuzzy. i kind of remember giving my mom a kiss before they wheeled me into the OR. I remember climbing from the bed to the operating table, but I couldn’t tell you anything about the OR itself, other than it was nice and cool. The last thing I remember is feeling them put my arms on arm boards. after that, it was lights out Biddy.
they pulled me out of anesthesia while still in the OR and I remember trying to wake up but not being able to open my eyes. I guess i was freaking out because people kept saying “brandy, you’re ok…it’s ok…the surgery is over, you’re ok” and then I remember telling them i hoped they had a lot of people to lift me off the table because i’m really heavy (classssssy). the doc said “well, you’re a few ounces lighter now because you don’t have a gallbladder!”
they wheeled me into recovery 1 where i felt the overwhelming urge to cry, though i wasn’t sure why. i wasn’t in any pain and i wasn’t upset. the nurse assured me it was just the anesthesia. then, the best part, i could NOT stop burping. i am one classy girl, let me tell ya! i noticed a makeshift bandage on my left hand and remember asking “what the hell?” the nurse told me they had to draw a little blood.
they had to give me phenegran in recovery 1 because i tried to get up and immediately felt nauseous. so i stayed in the bed a while and finally decided to get up and get in the recliner (recovery 2). The nurse was really surprised when i got up and walked to the chair without waiting for assistance. ooops
Mom got to come back in recovery 2 and fed me graham crackers and coke until the nausea finally subsided. while in there, she told me WHY they drew blood. apparently during surgery, i squirted the surgeon with blood…right in the eye (talk about awesome aim). so, they had to do an HIV and Hepatitis test haha
i walked to the bathroom, did my business by myself and then dressed myself. my nurse told me i got patient of the day award…even though i squirted the doc in the eye with blood. i loved all of my nurses, but my recovery 2 nurse (whose name i cannot remember for the life of me) was especially wonderful. so wonderful, in fact, that i thought he was gay.
he wasn’t.
damn anesthesia…
my wonderful, not gay, murse wheeled me out to mom’s car, gave me a little hug and said “you’re gonna do great darlin.” and just like that, i was off to recover in the comfort of my grandmother’s house. everyone was so sweet and loving and caring and it made me want to have surgery more often…but you know, minus the surgery part. those of you that follow me on twitter got to suffer through enjoy my drugged twittery goodness (heh they make me laugh)
i was back to work monday. it has been a very long week and i’m thoroughly exhausted. however, i’m feeling so much better now that i’m not dealing with my gallbladder. i’m still in pain, but i know it will subside. i’m not sure my stomach will ever return to its original shape (they pumped me full of gas), but i guess i can live with that…for now
anywho…sorry for such a long winded recap of my 45 minute surgery. everything is still a little fuzzy and i’d like to remember it someday. thank you to everyone who twittered, emailed, called, texted, or came by to see me. i really really really appreciate the love!!
now, who wants to make a bet that doc wears goggles from now on??
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