Alcatraz...

Ok, so Friend won't be shipped off to Ellis Island or anything but I thought it was a great title and pictures! I wasn't going to go into any detail about our "run-in" with the cops. However, it has become quite the joke between us and well, everyone that knows about it haha. Friend's new nickname is "Bird" (short for Jail Bird). Come to think of it, we've laughed about it since I busted him out of the pokey. Here's a not so brief synopsis of what happened:

A couple of weekends ago, 3 of Morgy's so called friends decided to take advantage of her naiveness and steal not one, not two, but NINE guns from her Uncle & Aunt (she was house-sitting for them). They also decided to steal some money, a car stereo etc. The main concern however, was the guns. Seriously - 3 stupid teenagers (who, of course, think they are bad ass gangstas) with 9 guns is not a good combination! Well, when the guns were discovered missing, Friend called Morgy to find out who all was over there with her that weekend. She hesitantly told him and Friend being the kind of man he is, decided he was going to talk to the boys himself and get it figured out. I asked if he wanted me to come along and he (jokingly i think) said "yes, cause i might just need you to bail my ass out of jail" I was thinking I would go along as more of a peacekeeper...you know, keep him from killing anyone! So, we hop in the truck all Starsky & Hutch like....

First stop: Taco Bueno, S. 14th

We pull up to Bueno to confront Idiot #1 - a former boyfriend of Morgy. Friend politely asked the manager if he could speak to Idiot #1. Idiot#1 comes out all cocky with his pants halfway down his ass (mistake number 1 of the evening). Friend asks if #1 knows who he is and gets a very rude "nah" (mistake number 2!). So he informs him that he is Morg's dad and suggests he have a seat. Well, Friend proceeds to ask him what happened at his brother's house that weekend and #1 comes out with entirely the wrong answer (mistake #3!). After that immediate flash of anger went over Friend, he asked him "Ok, do you want to tell me what ELSE happened?" to which #1 lies and says "*lip smack* nothin man" When asked about the missing property he says "man i didn't take nothin." Friend asks again and #1 starts mouthing to Friend (huge mistake number 4). #1 then proceeds to threaten Friend's life (huge mistake number 5...this guy just isn't very smart is he!?) and Friend proceeds to pick #1 up by the throat with one hand and places him against the wall, cutting off his air. As Homeboy (Idiot#1) is turning 7 shades of red and blue and his eyes are bugging out like a pekingese, I'm literally hanging on Friend's other arm (seriously, my feet were off the ground) desperately trying to keep him from killing the kid. Friend finally let him go and Homeboy (instead of running scared like he should have) hid behind some people and proceeded to tell Friend that that was a huge mistake and that he was "a dead man walking" (mistake number next one) He tells Friend to be back there at 10 (when he got off work). So Friend says ok and we leave. Well, sorta....

We go out to the truck and Friend proceeds to make a couple of phone calls. One to Morg, the next to Ex. I'm thinking we should probably go, but I wasn't driving. I was just riding shotgun. Oh..probably not the best use of wording there! Anyway, like 3 minutes into phone conversation La Familia (yes, they are mexican...big surprise) shows up...

Threats are made by Idiot #2 (#1's cousin who was also in on the theft) and the rest of La Familia...Well, Friend being the smart man he is, has his pistol sitting on the console of his truck. I mean, after all, the idiots stole NINE guns - we would have been foolish to go without some sort of protection! #2 continues to make threats and tells Friend that he's just an old man without the gun blah blah blah. Haha then #2 says something along the lines of "I have NO fear when it comes to you..." At that point I started laughing my ass off. I know Friend's temper and it AIN'T pretty. #2 (who is as tall as he is big around and has bigger boobs than me) asks why that's so funny and I told him that he indeed should be scared of Friend. He again said he was not. Well, Friend picked his pistol up off the console to put it in the glovebox; big boy (idiot #2) sees the gun and ducks for cover behind is 4'11" tall 85 pound girlfriend. What a macho man! *insert my rolling eyes here*

Anyway, big boy tells Friend to be back at 10 and they would "take care of it man to man" *sigh* so Friend agrees and we proceed to pull out. Well, apparently someone decided to call the cops because we had gotten about 10 feet when one pulled in and stopped us.

So, Friend gets outta the truck and a minute later I hear the cop saying "Brandy, I need you to step out of the truck with your hands where I can see them" SERIOUSLY!? Ok, so I get out, and my cell phone is in my hand and the cop is all "WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR HAND!?" I was like (in more attitude than I probably should have had) "myyy cell phone" Those of you who know me, know exactly how I said this phrase. Anyway, I walk over to where they are and the copper starts talking to Friend, asking him what went on and everything. In the meantime, 5 more cop cars show up. Yes, we had 6 of Abilene's finest (well, there were more cops than that, but that's how many cars there were) right there at Taco Bueno...

When one of the other coppers showed up, he asks if we've been frisked. You know, gotta go by the book and all *yes, my eyes are rolling here too* So, Friend gets to put his hands on the hood of the cop car and "spread em" Then, SheCop comes over and instructs me to do the same thing. SERIOUSLY!? Oh my gosh! She asks the questions "do you have anything on you I need to know about? Needles, weapons, anything?" I seriously laughed and said "no." Then she proceeds to violate me - patting and rubbing every uncomfortable spot on my body that a woman just should not be rubbing and patting on. The whole time she's doing this I'm thinking "dear god, please do not let my grandmother drive by!" (mimi lives close to that bueno and cuts through the parking lot ALL the time). So, after my not so lovely lesbian experience, she asks for my version of the story, which ended up being the exact same thing Friend said...sweet!

There were cops everywhere, mexicans everywhere, lights flashing everywhere, and a crowd developing. It was seriously just like an episode of COPS, except everyone had their shirt on. Friend and I sat on the tailgate of his truck just chit chatting while they interviewed Idiots 1 and 2 and of course, La Familia. Tio or Papa (we're not sure if he was idiot 1's uncle or dad) decides to spout off at Friend and raises his shirt up (ah it's officially a cops episode!) and throws some "bring it on" wannabe gangsta sign. SheCop gets pisssssed and makes him get in his car. Actually, she pretty much put him in his car. It was quite hilarious.

A good while later, they come back to us (keep in mind that they've left us unsupervised for like 20 minutes and have not even bothered to search the truck...abilene's finest, folks!) and ask where the gun is. We both told them (again) that it was in the glove box and indeed, not loaded (quick thinking on that one!). So, they search the truck and get it out. They finally tell Friend they are going to have to arrest him because he had a pistol and no concealed handgun license. Well, crap. So, they stand him up, cuff him, and ask him if it's ok to release his vehicle to his daughter (i.e. me). Haha Friend says "again, she's not my daughter, and yes, you can release my truck to her." So then they ask me if I have a valid driver's license and ask me to get it. I'm escorted to the truck (which they've already searched) and watched by a cop with one hand on his gun as I get in my purse to get my license (which SheCop had already seen)...Abilene's Finest

As they place Friend in the car, I yell out "hey what's your pin number?" He smiles and shouts it back, and they slam the door. I'm told I'm "free to go," hop in the truck and go to Friend's house to await his one phone call haha. I already had a Bail Bondsman working on his case when he finally got to call me.

Getting him out of jail was more of a chore than it should have been! The bondsman runs Friend's debit card and it's denied! Well, I knew there was money in there, so I asked him to please wait and went to the bank. THE FREAKIN ATM WAS DOWN! Grrrr! So, then I go to the bank across the street to try their ATM...no workie So, I'm sitting in the truck, half laughing, half crying from hysteria thinking "oh god I realllllllly don't want to call Ex!" Luckily, I had Friend's phone with me, so I went through the phone book and found his little brother's (the one the guns were stolen from) cell number. I breathed a sigh of relief, dialed, and cussed like a sailor when I got his voicemail. aaaaaaaaack! So then the dread of having to call Ex and tell her what was going on came back over me like a wave. Luckily, Little Brother's home phone number was in Friend's cell so I called it (quite desperately actually) and luckily, he answered! YAY! So, I say "Hey, this is Brandy, Friend's friend?" (i used his name) and he's all "uh yeah?" hehe so then I say "um...your brother is kind of in jail and uh...well, he gave me his debit card to get him out, but I think there's a problem because it keeps getting denied!" Hehe Little Bro goes "wait...he's WHAT!? What the hell was he doing!?" haha it was hilarious. I just told him Friend was trying to get the guns back and ended up in the Pokey over it. He met me at the bonds place (which is a creepy place in the middle of the night by the way) and put up the $190 it took to get him out of jail. Friend was arrested for "unlawful possession of a weapon" PUH-LEASE!

We finally got him out and all had a nice laugh over it...and Friend & Little Bro may have even gotten a customer out of the deal haha

what a night...what a night...

I realize this probably isn't as funny to some of you as it is to me, but I have been laughing my rear off writing this!!

So, now you all know "the rest of the story" (at least about that night)

I've spent wayyyy too much time on this one, so I'll update you on the status of the wannabe gangstas later...

peace nigglets

Disclaimer: I have nothing against other races, honestly. Heck, I'm half black half white! I do however have problems with the people of certain races *ahem black, mexican, and even some white folk* that think they have to act like complete and total idiots - wearing their pants down to their knees, 500 pounds of chains hanging around their necks, lowering their car to where it's a whole inch off the ground, painting "murals" on said vehicles, and let's not forget the last name in Old English written across the back window that is visciously shaking from the thumping of the $9000 worth of speakers in the ghetto ass Cadillac with the $5000 rims, totally annailating the english language with their "gangsta" talk, stealing, doing drugs and other law breaking activities they participate in), gettin busy with "they hoes," thinking that all of this is their way of "representin" their heritage (or in the case of said white folk, they're just tryin to be mexican or black), and did I mention just being complete MORONS!? THAT is what I have a problem with.