going bananas

ok...so i seriously love me some bananas. i love to slice them up and put them in my cereal (wow..can't believe i just put a link to my favorite "adult" cereal)...anyway, back to bananas. Aside from the morning addition to my cereal, I love bananas lots of ways and for many reasons:

• you know the trail mix that has dried bananas in it? i'll eat all the dried bananas and pineapple and leave the rest for someone else...or the trash



• i heart "nana nut" muffins...yum! i make a killer nana nut bread...



• Friend introduced me to the phenomenon of Oreos and bananas...seriously, don't knock it till you try it...it's dang good



• they are a great "oh crap i have to be in class in 7 minutes and need something to eat" very portable snack



• i've always been seriously prone to charlie horses (you know, the god awful, oh my gosh kill me now, pains you get in your calves from time to time) and eating 'nanners drastically reduces the number of crippling cramps...yay potassium!



• 2 words: bananas foster
  


• i know several people who HATE bananas...and can't for the life of me figure out why
  


• mmm baby food bananas
  


• In kenya, on the side of the road they sell little bitty green bananas...they are seriously THE BEST! They are green, but they are ripe - they just never change to yellow and they are only about 3 inches long...Friend and I love them!
  


• my dad's fave: banana snow cones



• my mom's fave: banana laffy taffy



• apparently i take after both parents



• a great kids book:

ok, so why the hell am i writing about my love for the yellow fruit? because i've come to a very sad conclusion today. i simply cannot have bananas in my house. Why? Because of the dang fruit knats (or is it gnats?) they bring with them! It's ridiculous! I've NEVER had a problem with them until I moved into this house. Isn't that weird? I've done all sorts of research on how to rid my abode of the pesky little shits, and alas, NOTHING has worked.

First, I tried keeping the nanners in the fridge. Woke up to a fridge of fruit g/knats. ewww. then i tried keeping a ziploc baggie with a nanner peel in it, with the edge almost completely shut and hanging over the sink edge (some stupid woman swore by it). This technique was supposed to attract the buggers into the bag, and supposedly trap them, therefore leaving your home free and clear. WRONGO! Not only did my supply of bugs QUAD-FREAKIN-DRUPLE, my house reaked of rotten banana peel, and the little terds found their way out (duh lady, they found their way in!). eww. So, then I tried the [apparently] age old trick of washing the bananas in warm water with a few drops of dish soap. I know a few people who swear by this method - it supposedly kills the larvae (such a gross sick and disgusting word), therefore ridding yourself of them before they ever appear. First time I did it, no bugs...yay! 2334895 times after that - BUGS. Dangitt! I even tried hosing them down with Lysol (which by the way, usually kills the little buttheads once they have hatched (eww) and are flying around your house). Spraying nanas with lysol does nothing but make your banana peel sticky. Fantastic.

So, i've gone several weeks without bananas in my house. And oh how i have missed them (the fruit not the bugs). Night before last however, I was at the grocery store and just simply couldn't resist buying some fresh, partially green bananas (they last longer if you buy em still green). Oh they have been so dang good! I went ahead and washed them and hung them on my handy dandy banana hanger, hosed the area down with lysol...and still, BUGS. So, I have a distinct feeling this will be my last time to buy them until I can figure SOMETHING out.

Does ANYONE have any suggestions??? It's killing me. I HATE bugs...hate hate hate, double hate, LOOOOOATHE ENTIRELY (sorry grinch moment) bugs of any sort. I especially hate bugs that feel the need to take up residency in my house. sorry bugs, you don't pay rent or bring gifts, therefore you are not welcome in my home. I just don't get it! it's not like my house is full of 349587 month old garbage...mi casa is messy, but CLEAN. I'm seriously disgusted by bugs and even the mere thought of a bunch of itty bitty flying creatures in my kitchen makes me gag. They are so damn pesky! They love my eyes apparently because that's where they always head when I walk into the room and disturb them by picking up a piece of fruit to eat...oh and ears...let's not forget their love of buzzing in one's ear...ewwww

so folks, i need some tips...get these damn bugs out of my house once and for all and i will love you forever!!!!