Biddy's World

can't. stop. laughing!

which is a good thing...cause it's a shitty day in Biddy's World!

so, we all know there are odd things that bug the piss out of me. and about 30 minutes into my workday today, i realized a few more i need to add to that list:

• crickets. i fucking hate crickets. i hate loathe the sound they make, i hate the smell they create, i hate that when you step on one, their green guts shoot out like rockets. currently, there are 4 or 5 crickets having a partay somewhere very near my office and it's driving me NUTZ
• people who pour stuff into a sink and don't rinse it. how fucking hard is it to rinse the shit out? I don't know why this bothers me, but when i see dried coffee spots all over the stainless steel sink, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. i feel the same way about people who don't rinse the coffee spoon.
• time left on a microwave. another odd thing that bothers the piss out of me. i don't care where i am at, if someone has taken something out of the microwave before the ding, i have to push clear. i can't stand for it to read 8 seconds or especially 1 second.
• a clock that isn't set. what the fuck is the point of having a clock if you're not going to set it to the right time? microwaves, coffee makers, etc...if they aren't set, by gawd, i'm setting them. if the power went out and it's flashing, i'm definitely setting it...because it bothers me almost as much as beeping.
• our ancient ass vending machine. the thing is so old, it doesn't even take dollar bills. it's so old, the phone number on it still has our old area code (which changed when i was in the 6th grade). it's so old that it has mastered the art of teasing you by making you think you are actually going to get your goodies but it holds onto the most miniscule corner of your chips, m&m's, almond joy, whatever. of course, it only does this when you are so hungry, your arm is starting to look mighty tasty. it's so old that the guys who restock it, laugh at it's hideousness. quit laughing and bring us a new machine ya fucktards!
• biting my teeth. no, i'm not drinking. haven't you ever been eating something and you bite down wrong and whammo! your teeth meet in the most unpleasant way?
• people who bite down on their utensils while eating. seriously folks, we have lips. there is no need for that vile noise.
• getting excited about a major change in life, just to find out it ain't happenin...no New York. long story. will talk about it later. let's just say, biddy is devastated