Mundane Monday Masterpiece

i've got 12 minutes to get my Monday Masterpiece up...crap and i just spent 3 of those minutes taking pictures and another 4 uploading...stupid dial-up (yeah yeah, laugh all you want...it's free and i'm poor)

this is last weeks "masterpiece." my friend Tracy (from work) always has little notes from her children and husband tacked on her cube walls, so i decided to make her some adorable push pins! they were so much fun!! i found the instructions somewhere online (i know, i have a memory of a...what were we talking about?) anyway, found the destructions as i like to call most manuals, and went to town. Here is Biddy's tutorial:

• go to walmart's fabric department, pick up the smallest size cover-your-own-buttons they have, though they don't say "wedding size" they're not that big, they should work.


• pick up another hot glue gun and sticks - they will go nicely with your collection


• proceed to school supplies and cuss like a sailor because they are out of fucking thumbtacks. Any other time (you know, any time i wasn't needing them RIGHT THEN) they would have 346908 boxes. but noooo not this time


• proceed to checkout with wrong size buttons, hot glue gun, glue, and alleen's tacky glue (because you can never have too much of that stuff...seriously)


• dance to the car because you totally left wal-mart without spending over $5 woo hoo!


• drive to Hancock's


• almost get run over in parking lot


• walk in, immediately turn left and in 3.2 seconds realize that you indeed bought the wrong effing buttons at wally.


• pick up 3 packages with very distinct "wedding gown" written all over the box


• skim the fabric for about 3 seconds as you walk to the checkout


• stand in line for 3498573 minutes to buy $4.50 of buttons


• consider kissing the cashier that finally came to your rescue


• leave hancock's, eat now cold lunch that's been sittin in your car since you "ran" into hancock's


• almost run over person that was holding the damn line up for so long


• go to target, because surely Biddy's favorite store will have thumbtacks


• get icee to make you happy just in case they don't have any


• cheer all the way to the checkout cause you're about to leave Target (thumbtacks in hand) for the grand total of $2.16


• go to mimi's


• explain to jake he cannot use your shears (my boy has an obsession with scissors)


• open box of wedding gown buttons a bit too roughly


• get on hands and knees and hunt for wedding gown buttons


• bump head on table at least 6 times


• using needle nose pliers, rip the metal hoop off the back of the buttons


• hit yourself in the eye with needle nose pliers


• cuss


• cut out pattern on back of box (because the internet instructions just said use a quarter)


• use pattern to retardedly precisely cut a small wannabe perfect circle of fabric


• place mangled circle of fabric, face down into little white plastic hooty (hooty is a technical term folks)


• place the top portion of wedding size button face down, into the fabric that is in the white plastic hooty


• clumsly delicately use your manhands to tuck the excess fabric into the back of the button.


• place back of button in white hooty, on top of tucked fabric


• use blue plastic hooty to press back of button into front of button into the white hooty


• pop button out of white hooty - it is mangled and the tucked fabric is not completely concealed
• cuss some more


• pop back of button off


• snip about half of the fabric off because it won't fucking fit


• resume tucking what's left of fabric


• lose blue hooty


• cuss again


• find blue hooty, press button back with blue hooty


• pop out adorable covered button


• say something along the lines of "fuck the glue gun"


• take out a thumbtack that "matches" the fabric


• pop that sucker into the back of the button and call it good.


• round two? use a quarter to measure the fabric like the damn instructions said

oh, and i used the alleen's glue to cover a paper maché box with fabric (from a pillowcase)..don't look too close, it turned out pretty ghetto

here is this weeks Monday Masterpiece:

Eddy Jo's (that would be Friend's Mama) Banana Puddin...all together now: YUM!! I made a double batch for a work luncheon tomorrow. Oh was it difficult to not sit cross legged on the floor with the giant bowl and serving spoon in my lap. now that would have been fun! except that my office paid for most of the supplies and they probably would like to have the end result be shared. Sorry Friend, this one isn't for you, but I promise you will get the leftovers!!

*update: Friend, I'm sorry. The vultures I work with ate every last bite of it, but I'll make you some more. promise!*

ok, i'm hittin the hay. not that i will sleep, but one can dream, right? *terrible pun there* oh and watch out for my next monday masterpiece. it's gonna be one helluva post!

promise i'll add pictures tomorrow...oh fuck...it is tomorrow. damnitt! ok, i promise i'll post pictures as soon as i have access to high speed internet.