my name is biddy, and i'm a shoe addict

what the fuck!? Thanks, Jenny, for introducing me to this incredibly odd merchandise.

moving away from that which is scary....

biddy's got a new pair of shoes! everyone, ooh and ahh properly:

I know, right!?!?

i have to give a shout out to the woman who had them on her feet when i went to the shoe aisle with these and ONLY these in mind. You see, Biddy has gargantuan feet. Fred Flinstone feet if you will. So, pretty much the only shoes at Le Targét that fit, are size 11 (and even that's a crap shoot). Le Targét does not carry many 11's. they just don't, because really, women shouldn't have feet that big, right? Anyway, I walked down the aisle where I knew (i could feel it in my bones) they were located, barely noticed the woman and her daughter on the aisle, looked up to the top shelf (because women with size 11 feet should also be 6' 5" tall) and the one box of size 11 ribbon flats (that were on sale, mind you), was empty. My heart literally sunk. Then, I noticed the lady with her daughter, and she was trying on a pair of ribbon flats. i (as jokingly as possible) said, "let me guess, you've got the 11 on." To which she replied "yes, but i think they are too big. don't go anywhere, i'll make up my mind in a minute." So, we talked for a good while and had a fairly pleasant conversation (though in the back of my mind i was thinking "damnitt woman, get your feet out of my shoes!"). I was even lying nice and said "it's no big deal, i can just order them online!" but she was all "no, just wait a minute! if you order them online you won't save any money!" so she walked around some more (checking every aisle to see if there was another 11 hiding somewhere), then we got into a conversation about Diana, the ultimate pedicure lady. I have to tell you, i felt a kinship with this woman hehe

I was just about certain she had made up her mind to take them, but then, in a moment of gloriousness, she took them off, put them in the box and just when i thought she was going to say "yeah i'm taking them. peace out, bitch!" she handed them to me and said "they're too big. my heel started coming out of them as i walked. enjoy!" Of course, then the guilt set in and i was all "are you sure?! you promise?! you double dog pinky swear?!" to which she replied "i'm positive, i promise, i have no idea what a double dog pinky swear is, but sure why not. you just better wear them and love them. i'm sure they will get some more in. besides, i can tell you want them more than i do"

so, she totally didn't help the guilt trip, but by golly i had the shoes in hand. i profusely thanked her and told her that was the best birthday present ever (ok, so i lied, but it was close. you just can't beat a shiny red pickup truck) and told her daughter to have a good school year and that i work right across the street from her school if she ever needs anything (wtf? i didn't even know these folks' names!) and ran gracefully walked to the checkout, paid my $11.09 and tried to contain the pee in my bladder my excitement.

i haven't worn them yet, because a) i'm weird and need to rub the insides down with rubbing alcohol to get the other-people's-feet-funk out of them b) i can't decide if i should scotchguard them, and c) i gotta figure out the perfect outfit to christen them with.

and by the way, Le Targét has some really freakin cute ballet flats on sale. They are not on sale online, but they do have a bigger selection of effing adorable flats...ohhhhhh somebody hide my Visa...