How To Smell Like A Sexy Beast

Tonight:

• skip the shower because you're too tired. convince yourself you will wake up early enough to take one in the morning

Tomorrow:

• wake up 10 minutes before you need to leave the house
• tooootally forget to put on deodorant. brushing your teeth is more important
• sweat at work because someone keeps jacking with the a/c
• spend part of the afternoon and most of the evening at Friend's house. Friend must smoke like a friggin freight train.
• take break in afternoon to go back to work, spray self with a bit of fabreeze
• go back to Friend's house for the rest of the day & evening. take nap in Friend's bed.
• Forget to turn a/c down before getting in bed and sweat like a pig during nap
• wake up hungry, pop a bag of popcorn
• burn said bag of popcorn in the microwave
• better yet, catch said bag of popcorn on fire while in the microwave
• pull smoking, flaming bag out of microwave
• extingquish popcorn in sink
• drive to Steak Express in Friend's truck (which smells of ciggy smoke and sawdust, yum)
• eat burger with lots of onions and pickles
• kiss Friend goodbye, run to car in rain
• drive home in car that smells musty and kinda moldy thanks to said rain
• allow humidity in car to once again create sweaty armpits
• get home, spill dogfood, clean it up

Now, take a big whiff of yourself. Big enough to have the stench aroma linger in your nose hairs.

oh, if only we could bottle it...

*this is indeed a sad, but true story. and casey, i think the bbq would have totally completed the lovely aroma. i will so have to remember that next time!*