WTF Is Going On Here?!

This is not going to be a fun post...but Biddy needs some help.

As I write this post, I am in pain. A very awkward pain. Let me see if I can explain...

Aunt Flo (that bitch) is in town. But aside from the usual "ohmygodsomebodyjustshootme" cramps, I'm having some other issues...

for starters, my IBS is outta freakin control! Not just some foods, but apparently ALL foods kill me. Does anyone else poo more often when they have their period? I normally do, but this is soooo much more than usual. I'm liking that I don't have much of an appetite (yet i'm pretty sure i've gained weight), but what I do eat sends me straight to the lil girls room...which really sucks, seeing as how i DO NOT use public restrooms.

next, and quite possibly the most disturbing is this odd feeling inside. I feel as though there is a brick sitting on my uterus, pushing it down to rest in the area between my butt and vuh jay jay... And when the aforementioned IBS sends me to the potty, I feel as though if I push too hard, all my organs and the brick are going to pop right out of me...and it HURTS. It makes me want to cry. Sometimes, it does make me cry. What the hell!?

oh and another odd thing...i'm having the weirdest effing dreams. Last night for instance, I dreamed that Chablis had her puppies - but they were rats. and two of them were blue. ummm weiiird. Oh, did I mention Chablis is pregnant again? Fannnnnntastic! Anyone want a free puppy?

oh wait, this is about me. so, have any of you had this odd vuh jay jay issue? i'd call my gyny but she'd want me to come in, and that's $70 i don't have at the moment...and if I did have an additional $70, it would be used on stormy's shower anyway....