this is what i do when i'm bored:

i craft. alot.

last year, i didn't have a christmas tree. this year, i have three. so, as most of you know, when you get your first christmas tree, you have to buy ornaments. lots of fucking ornaments. ornaments are expensive! well, at least the ones i actually like are expensive. i bought a bunch of clear "make your own" ornaments last year when they were 75% off because i figured it would be cheaper to make my own than to buy. i forgot one little thing: i don't do cheap crafts. it's next to impossible for me for some reason. anyway, this one really hasn't been that expensive. the most expensive part was the greatest glitter ever. but it's big bottles and they will last a very long time...

anyway, the last two nights i have been making, well, improving, ornaments while watching t.v. and i'm quite impressed with the results. here's a little biddy tutorial:

Supplies

• a large stack of el cheapo, small paper plates
• plain christmas ornaments (get the cheapest ones you can find)
• rubbing alcohol
• water
• the greatest glitter ever in colors of your choice (fine, not coarse)
• cheap (like, don't pay more than $1 per tube), coarse glitter in colors of your choice
• acrylic paint in colors similar to the coarse glitter
• elmer's glue (not the washable) or Mod Podge
• lots of paper towels
• several one inch sponge brushes
• small gladware bowl with lid
  

ok, so now that that's outta the way, let's get to the fun. oh, by the way, be sure to cover your workspace or else you'll end up with carpet that looks like this:

and be sure you don't have allergies going on, because when working with glitter, if you sneeze, you'll end up with carpet that looks like this:

ok, now we're really ready to begin.

1. in the gladware bowl, mix either elmer's glue or mod podge with a little bit of water. you won't need to use a lot of the glue and you just want enough water to make it easy to spread

2. select an ornament to improve. if you are going to use the coarse gliter, i reccommend the matte ornaments. for the fine glitter you can use the matte, shiny, or clear ones

3. rub the ornament down with alcohol

errr...alcohol

4. once it air dries (should only take about 30ish seconds), hold the ornament by the top, dip the tip of your sponge brush in the glue mixture or acrylic paint (depending on the glitter you're using) and apply a smooth thinish coat onto the ornament. if you want smooth ornaments, use the martha glitter. if you want textured, crunchy ornaments, use the cheap stuff.

5. this is the fun part. over one of the little paper plates, open your glitter and pour it allllll over the ornament. seriously, go crazy (just keep it over the plate). coat the ornament with lots and lots of glitter. make sure there is no glue showing. lightly tap or shake the ornament over the plate and the excess will come off.

annnnnd voila!

6. hold onto the ornament for a minute or so, just to let the glitter settle. then place it on a clean paper plate to dry. i let mine dry overnight, then gently put them back in their original box to store until you're ready to hang them on the tree.

7. after making a few ornaments, carefully make a taco out of the paper plate covered in glitter. i say carefully, because as you fold it in half, the middle of the plate is going to want to pop and throw glitter everywhere. seriously, my snot still has glitter in it. take the top off your glitter bottle, set the bottle on a paper plate (see why you need a bunch of them?) and pour the glitter back into the bottle. put the top back on tightly (just think about a loose salt shaker top...ick) now you're ready to start some more ornaments!

if you get tired of snorting glitter, you can take a break and make a blingin' horseshoe:

it's just a wooden horseshoe (25 cents) painted with about 8 drops of metallic acrylic paint (i mixed amethyst and pearl for the lighter purple color). then i took some clear tacky glue and applied some rhinestones. this will go great in Kiley's (tyler & hailey's unborn daughter) room!

now, go forth and craft. i've got some serious cleaning to do...