oh what a day....

so, i went to three different doctors today. yep threeeeee

this morning i still felt like poo so i went to the minor emergency clinic. turns out, i have a sinus infection and an ear infection. YES!

after that $70 trip, I went to the chiropractor. have i told y'all how much i love my chiropractor?? seriously, i tell him on a regular basis that i'm going to marry him. he assures me that should anything happen to his wife, he'll be sure and let me know. hmph....

there's something i just don't get. unlike him and oh yeah, her, i don't fart very often. i know, y'all really wanted to know that, but it's true, i really don't. so why is it that every friggin time I go to the chiropractor, I have to fart? what is it about laying on the table that tells my stomach, "hey dude, you should fill up with gas RIGHT NOW so that when the mchottie doc comes in and starts popping her, she'll blow right in his beautiful face." i.don't.get.it. anyway, my ass was seriously cramping from squeezing my cheeks as tightly together as possible, but man oh man did my back feel good after he got done making me want to orgasm adjusting every single vertebrae a few times. after leaving my lover's arms, i promptly went to the exam room across the hall and got the best massage i've EVER had. omg. the girl was so good i almost fell in love with her. i will definitely be back. oh and check out the price: $35 an hour. hell yeah!

anyway, after melting on the massage table and paying my $70, i picked up some lunch from Hickory Street (BOSSY, i'll totally take you there if you come see me) and reluctantly went to work. about 2 hours into my workday, my tooth started hurting like a sonofabitch. seriously, i'm pretty sure i could feel my heartbeat in my tooth and it was so not pleasant.

so, i called the dentist's office. this is a new dentist for me. actually, she's a new dentist period. she graduated not too long ago. anyway, i had it on good authority that she is friggin awesome. and, i know the dentist she works with, so i figured if i didn't like her i could always go see my buddy stan. anyway, i called the office and i swear it was like i was trying to get into some ritzy country club or something. they wanted to know if i knew dr. a or if someone referred me. oh, someone referred me? yeah they wanted to know who. WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER?! The receptionist was so rude, but dr. a told her to tell me to go ahead and come in right then. So, I went. and the bitch was still rude, but not as rude. well, about 10 minutes into the rudeness the wife of the dentist that owns the place saw me, came over, gave me a huge hug and we talked for a good long bit, catching up. wouldn't you know it? ms. bitch was suddenly sugary sweet and oh so attentive. argh. it really does pay to know the right people! when i was checking out, a different girl was at the desk and she wasn't exactly friendly. well, until stan (the dentist that owns the place) came up and gave me a huge hug and chatted with me for a while about what was going on in my life etc. and wouldn't ya know it? she was all sugary sweet and oh so attentive after that. ugh people...

prognosis? biddy will be having a root canal next week. woo friggin hoo...luckily that particular appointment only cost me $15 (thank you dental insurance).

so, is it any wonder that i got paid yesterday and my paycheck is pretty much gone!? $70 at minor emergency, $70 at the chiropractor, $15 at the dentist, $55 at the gas station, $97 at the grocery store (shut up, i haven't been grocery shopping since november. i needed everything). yeah, too bad i don't get paid again till the 31st. crap. maybe i'll go do my taxes...