the belt story

so, i've been meaning to write this down for a few days now. i want to remember this story, always. i know i will, even without writing it down, but i just have to share it with y'all...

Now, you guys know that my precious grandmother and I get along really well. I consider her one of my best friends. when Papa died, it wasn't even a question - everyone knew i would be staying with mimi. no one was surprised when i finally made the decision to give up my apartment and live with mimi. the first couple of months after papa died, i slept with her, holding her hand. there were nights we held each other and just cried. there were days we laughed until we cried. point is, we have always been able to talk....like old friends.

Friday night Mimi and I went to Cracker Barrel for supper. yum! She's been really sick, I've been really sick. We were both feeling better and decided to take advantage of a food craving and indulge in the friday fish fry.

While we were waiting on our drinks to arrive, Mimi says "well i finally found the right belt, or were you there when i was telling that?" (she asked because she has a habit of repeating stories. rarely do i actually tell her "i've already heard this story," because really, if she wants to tell me a story, who am i to stop her?) I, with a dumb look on my face, told her i had no idea what she was talking about (and i really didn't).

A couple of weeks ago, Mimi, my mom, and my aunt (i think) ran into an old friend of the family, Marty. They spent some time talking and Marty says to Mimi, "I've been meaning to call you. I've started making crosses out of Ranger belts and framing them. I remember Kenneth (papa) always wore the prettiest ranger belts. If you'll pick one out, I would love to make it into a cross for you. I've only made a few, but they have turned out really nice." So, Mimi told him that she would pick out a belt and send it to the shop with my aunt kathleen.

So, a week passed and Marty came by to see if Mimi had picked out a belt. Well, she had been sick (the first week she was sick) and hadn't really given it much thought. So, my aunt reminded her and Mimi started looking through Papa's belts. Papa had a LOT of belts. (papa loved to shop. belts, hats, coats, and watches were his weaknesses) Mimi said she kept looking through them and just couldn't decide which one to send to Marty. Marty came back by the shop and still no belt. So, Mimi told mom and aunt kathleen that at the birthday party we were having the coming friday, she wanted them to help her pick out a belt. For some reason, it didn't happen.

So, a few days later, mimi is sick, again. really really sick. again. poor thing. you know how when you've been really sick you get all emotional and weepy? well, maybe you don't, but Mimi and I totally do. Anyway, the story continues:

"so the other night when i was just feeling terrible, I had gotten up to go throw up again and I just couldn't sleep. So, i got out the clothes* and cuddled up with them and had me a good cry."

*the clothes - Papa died in his sleep on a monday night/early tuesday morning. he had a habit of taking his clothes off by his recliner. the clothes he wore that monday, mimi has kept folded up in one of the lawyer bookshelves in her room. she gets them out when she needs to smell him or feel close to him. yes, i started crying as soon as she said "the clothes"

"after i had a good cry, i was just laying there missing him. i looked down and thought "damn that's a pretty belt" and then it hit me. the reason i couldn't find the right belt was because it wasn't hanging with the rest of the belts. it was over in the lawyer bookshelf."

papa told her which belt.

It was so strange that she told me that story right then. I had been all emotional and weepy too. i had been crying in my bed because i missed papa too. it was like papa was guiding our conversation, having mimi tell that story, right then, so we could sit and cry together.

and so i could tell mimi my stupid story about watching sean's funeral on days of our lives and bawling like a baby because it reminded me of papa dying and caroline just reminded me so much of mimi at that time....

i'm sure our waitress loved bringing us a stack of napkins so we could cry and blow our noses.

thanks papa...we both needed that...