i'm having ISSUES

i know, shocking. but really, i'm having issues right now. part of me wants to laugh, the other wants to scream...

so, i'll compromise and bitch on my bloggy. because really, what's biddy without bitching!?

• it's raining. i know, i live in west texas (aka the fucking desert) and should be ecstatic that it's raining. but i'm not. why? well, let's see: a) i really need to take a shower, but refuse to when there's lightning the size of california outside. b) my sunroof loves to randomly leak. c) i had fully planned on straightening my hair for easter and now it's going to be more like a fucking FRO. d) i only like rain if i have someone to cuddle with and oh yeah, i don't see anyone here but myself.


• i don't have cable. ok, so i haven't had cable in years. but i particularly hate not having cable on the weekends because that's when t.v. sucks ass. i like basketball, but i don't want to watch it for 24 fucking hours straight. and really, why oh WHY is The Ten Commandments on? It's like 15 hours long and seriously? charleton heston as moses? i realize tomorrow is easter, but i'm probably possibly maybe going to church in the morning. i much prefer listening to our preacher...he's a lot funnier (and more oh, i don't know, 2008) than charleton heston...


• so, i went to target tonight with one thing and one thing only on my mind: Target-exclusive Hershey’s lemon crème Kisses that were advertised in the sunday ad. oh yeah baby, come to mama. i passed the adorable new purses (that are on sale for $7.99). i passed the dollar spot. i passed the clothes. i went straight for the easter aisle where there were about 93834 people. i had a small high school reunion (seriously, saw like 4 different people from high school) then i set out to find the kisses. I found the Kisses wall. Original? had them. Limited Edition Cherry Cordial? had them too. Limited Edition Coconut Crème, Limited fucking Edition Orange Crème, Caramel, Vanilla Crème? had all of 'em. Target-exclusive Hershey’s lemon crème Kisses? nope. they were out of them. completely. none to be found. nada. zip. none in the back storage room (and yes i made them check). forget my love of bananas because my love for all things lemon, runs so. much. deeper. oh gawd do i love lemon. lemon drops. lemon filled donuts. lemonade. lemon cough drops. slices of fresh lemon. lemon cake. lemon squares. i friggin love lemon. and our one and only target is OUT of Target-exclusive Hershey’s lemon crème Kisses! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!?



• I was so distraught over the kisses, i totally forgot to get some wint-o-green mints while I was there.
  
• Target was pretty much a huge disappointment (other than seeing old friends from high school). Target never disappoints me. NEH-VAR. But yeah, Target is on my shit list right now. They STILL do not have these in my size:

believe me when i say, these pictures SO do not do them justice. they are 591 times cuter in person. damn you, giant feet-0-mine!

• tomorrow marks the end of spring break. and i have done NOTHING productive. i'm very angry with myself.
• i'm wearing my glasses. granted, they are really cute glasses that i drove over 6 hours to get (long story), but i don't like wearing my glasses. my perephial vision is blurry and that ain't cool. why am i wearing my glasses? oh, that would be because my eyes feel a helluva lot like they did when i had iritis. i know, it sounds fake, but it's totally real. someone shoot me.

ok, i think the rain has subsided for now. i'm going to go take a shower before i start smelling like a landfill (rimmy, i know that must seriously turn you on) and pray i don't get fried. hey, i have valid issues with bathing and lightning: i have an aunt that came this close to getting fried in her bathtub. like, she barely got the second foot out of the tub when lightning struck her house. she felt the electricity going through the bathroom. so. not. cool.

p.s. need a good laugh? go read Jenny's post-wisdom teeth extraction post before she sobers up and deletes it. i nearly peed myself.